Saturday, July 23, 2011


I watched a woman die today.  Presumably from the heat.  It reached well over one hundred here and many are foolish about being out in such hellish weather.  I was at a gas station and a few pumps over, I saw a crowd start to gather and I heard voices raised.  People were pulling out their phones and an ambulance was there in nano-seconds it seemed.   I had seen the woman starting to fill her car...and then I didn't see her.  I just assumed she had bent over out of my view.  Not so. As I walked toward the inside to pay, I watched the paramedics cover her face and slowly load her body into the vehicle.  No hurry there. No airlift.  No jaws-of-life.  No cardiac resuscitation. And no mourners that reminder of mortality that washed over the onlookers like the hot wind of the day.  I want to go like that.  No real pain to speak of...heaven knows that we have all endured pains in our lives that exceed that final one.  I reckon that death is not about pain...but a short burst of an ultimate exhilarating fear followed by silence.  But I wouldn't swear to it...not having experienced this parting myself yet.  But I will.  Someday soon I hope.  I have had about all I care to take, even now.

The timbre of society has changed over the course of my lifetime.  As it has over the time spent alive for countless generations before me.  Things move quickly.  Things always in flux.  And they have moved toward the less desirable end of the scale.  Or so say the people of my generation.  But so said the generations that have passed on like the woman at the gas pump.  But maybe we are right.  Maybe there really is a decline in the tone and consequence of the species.  I looked at the woman's body as they loaded it like so much furniture into the back of the white ambulance...and I thought.  As Pynchon so wisely queried: "...where do all the memories go?".  Where indeed are the mental records of the birthdays and births; the loves and the hatreds that this woman experienced over her lifetime.  Where do they go?

I watched a really good movie last night.  Needless to say it wasn't an amerikan one.  We can't make those anymore.  Good films.  The timbre in them have changed as well as our ability to recognize the change.  However on the streaming movie-service page for the film...there were member reviews of  it .  I like to read those and have even written a few myself...but none with this kind of insight.  It began:

"Human passion, in most Hollywood products, comes in wet and heavy dollops. This means double helpings of guffaws and violins for family movies, slapstick, or romance; messy bed sheets and puddles of blood in sex and crime flicks; and torn up facial expressions, enhanced (in case we still don’t get it) by swelling cellos, plus torrents of artificial rain, in dramas. Don’t despair: If you want understatement and irony, wit and smiles, and that rare awareness of hearing both the faint crackle of your synapses and the wheezing of your soul – for that you can still rent foreign films.... "

The review then went on to laud the "foreign" film I was about to enjoy.
I know...I know.  You are wondering where this is all going.  And when am I going to get to hating judaism in this post.  Well, I could say that the jewish have spoiled Western film.  That they have turned it into a debauched medium that panders to the most primitive impulses in the human DNA.  But that would be an unfair assessment.
The medium has always been thus.  They have owned and operated it since they stole the technology at the turn of the last century.  It, as has the plethora of their influences through various fronts, represents a gradual decline of decency which I constantly decry here.  What ever the traffic will allow, as they say.  And the ashkanazi direct the traffic.  In the media.
It is no wonder that I seek foreign films.  They tend more to recall a decency in life, that has yet been touched by the hand of the jew.

Those foreign films and the whole elusive wholesomeness that they can and do portray are all that is left to those of my generation...if they live in reality.  All that are left of a dream of true virtue.  That ain't much.  But I will pack them up with the rest of my memories and take them with me, if I that woman did today on the burning pavement.  I hope we get to take them with us.  I would be nothing without them.


Noor al Haqiqa said...

My dad took my Mom dancing on a Saturday night. They dined on good steaks, danced, bragged about their kids. They went home and went to bed.
The next morning he never woke up.

My Mom recently passed away. Her departure was long and slow. Parkinsons and advanced arthritis. We kept her happy but her pain level was horrible. She was the last of her siblings, last of her friends, last of a gracious age. She was ready but her body held on for ages. We loved and cared for her to the end.

Dad had the luck of the Irish... it is not death itself to fear, it is the path to the portal. You would think after we have gone through this hundreds of times we would lose our irrationality about death, but somehow it comes back with each life for the majority of humans.

That lady, condolences to those who loved her, seems to have had, on the surface, the luck of the Irish.

When our job is done, our job is done. We leave.

Avops said...

"But I will. Someday soon I hope. I have had about all I care to take, even now."

Well said Timster, I feel it too...

glengear said...

Timster I am jealous of the people who die quickly, or in their sleep. That is how we all should be allowed to go. If there is a merciful God, how can someone that has only led a good life suffer terribly for months sometimes years. Those that suffer greatly, you see the pain, the sorrow, the life dissipate right in front of you, like a puzzle un-forming in reverse. Keep up the good work. Your words speak of human portrayal and compassion along with teachings about the EVIL ONES. Thanks

Anonymous said...

On Thursday you ask for the Johnny Gentile's to take their tiny brains to overthrow the Joe Schmo's of the Jewish faith. The Johnny Gentile's have always sold out because money reigns, always has, always will. So it's just that simple those that have the gold will rule!
Please comtinue your fight against the upper class like Joe you speak of!
Do you really think a bunch of poor geeks that never see the light of day and hide in their rooms playing with the computer can take on the P. T. B.
The P. T. B. have and will continue to dominate and there is not one thing you criers WILL ACCOMPLISH!
You probably believe in the fairy tale about David and Goliath don't you! B. S....

Genie said...

In the movie Magnolia the old game show producer is in his death bed dying of cancer and is tortured by a profound sense of regret for his past selfish and neglectful behavior. I am afraid of the fire of regret when I am dying that slow death where you have time to think and no time left to act. Sure we may die of a sudden, if we are lucky. I've never been much of a lucky devil! So I try and prioritize based on what I consider a rational fear. It's all I consider where death is concerned.

danny said...

Timster, you're humanity is showing!! Another essay to keep us thinking....even those that already agree with you on this very human point. I have to end here, lest I do an entire column in your comments.


Anonymous said...

To anonymous 5:54---Anything that men create first starts out as a dream. The end is not yet written.


Anonymous said...

[i]"You probably believe in the fairy tale about David and Goliath don't you! B. S...."[/i]

Goliath won't look quite so big when 7 billion David's are staring him down, Shlomo.

And it's encouraging to see that you don't believe in the Jew's fairy tales either.

Timster said...

Noor -"...last of a gracious age." I like that.

Timster said...

Glenster - Thanks, I will. You know can't shut me up.

Timster said...

Avops - Yeah. I used to think "well, I'll hang around to see how this turns out"...but of late, I have lost interest.

Timster said...

Genie - They say the good die young, I think I know what they mean by that.

Timster said...

Danny - Oops. Write all you want...this a regular joint.

Anonymous said...

Studying quantum physics led me to the belief that the material world which we sense with our bodies, the world of space and time, is only one tiny aspect of "reality" (whatever that may be), and that we truly do "inhabit" these bodies - or more accurastely, these bodies inhabit us.

Looking closer and closer at matter, we see less and less material and more and more "empty space" between pieces of material, until at length we find two truths: first, that what we perceive (sense) as matter is nothing more than a wave in a medium we cannot perceive; second, that every thing is not only connected, quite literally connected, to every other thing, but always has been and always will be.

That something which we cannot perceive is, I believe, the same as that concept which we call "consciousness". I believe that the "I" who is perceiving this world and all of its space and time is in and of that consciousness, and that this body which "I" inhabit is in and of that consciousness as well... that is, "I" am what you might call a spirit, and this body is inside the spirit, not the other was 'round. The perception that is going on is due to the ability of the physical body to receive and perceive and transceive signals, in the form of light, sound, heat, taste, smell, gravity and so on.

When the physical body reaches a condition in which it is no longer able to function, it disintegrates - let me repeat that: it dis-inegrates. It is no longer integral, it is no longer One. And at that point, the consciousness that is the "I" of the body no longer inhabits the body, but the consciousness - because it exists on a level beyond matter, beyound space and time - the consciousness does not cease to exist. Instead, it "looks" at its former home, and says "Damn... that was a ride!"

The central - and suppressed - message of almost every religion you can find is exactly that, and although I couch it in somewhat different terms, it comes to the same thing: there is only One, and You are not only part of It, you ARE It. As the famous (and probably fictitious) Jesus is supposed to have said, "The Kingdom is inside you and all around you. Lift a stone, and you will find me; split a piece of wood, and I am there." Too bad he didn't finish: "Oh, and so are you."

Timster said...

Anon@9:58 - Oh. I see.
You have apparently given this matter quite a deal of thought. I like it. It is hopeful and has yet has a ring of observational truth about it...unlike the myth of religion. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I look forward to your next observation...or would you like to do a "guest" post? Give it some thought.