Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Lunatic Fringe...

I'm not so sure that I have a firm grasp on reality.  Well, not the reality that most people dog-paddle around in on a daily basis.
That is to say...I don't see things that other people see...and I see things others don't.  If that makes any sense.  Well...it probably wouldn't if you are in that shared pool of consciousness outside my cranium.

When I was 18 and called up for the draft, I tried everything I could think of to avoid the jungles of Viet Nam.  I even tried the "mentally unfit for military service" route.  A psychiatrist told me I was crazy.  Yes, he even used that word.  Funny that.
But anyway...he said that within the accepted thinking of the day, I would be crazy to resist my duty, as I was supposed to see it, to go kill people that I didn't know, for money.  But that wasn't enough to get me out of the draft...sez he.  He also said that by wanting to protect my own ass and the posteriors of a declared enemy of the state, I was on the "lunatic fringe".  Not certifiable, however...so perfectly fit to sweat and grunt in a humid jungle half a world away.  And possibly lose my life...lunatic fringy brain and all.  I thought that diagnosis was funny.  Not really useful to me at the time...but hilarious.  I didn't really blame him.   After all he was just trying to protect his phony-baloney job by not officially deferring too much cannon fodder.

Anyway...many people think I am still teetering on that fringe even after all these years.  You would think I would have moved...one way or another by now.  Either fallen into the abyss of total insanity, or seen the light, as it were...and returned to normalcy.  Well, I did kind of.  I got a haircut and a job...went to school..got a better job...a career even.  But I always retained that delicate balance on the edge of sanity.  I operate at normal temperature, seemingly.  But I run a little hot under the hood when it comes to certain things.  War is still one of these things.  Of course judaism is another.  But I can keep these things in check.  That is...like my car mechanic says "you might want to get it fixed sometime soon, but it's not something that will put you on the side of the road right away". 
Well, I guess the "...right away" portion of that diagnosis would be the key phrase.  As I grow older, I feel myself wafting back toward the edge of the fringe.  The insanity abyss yawns before me.  I grip with my toes to the edge...but it is pulling me to what I see as a "real" reality...not what psychiatrists and news anchors would describe as such however.  An oblivion in which common humanity rules...not a war ethic...nor the
kosher commercialism/capitalism that I started challenging so long ago. 


As much as I don't want to bore you about my life, I will have to draw a parallel here at some point.  To draw you in by pointing out similarities between my relative insanity, and yours.  Get you on my side...like Fyodor did when he related the tale of Raskolnikov.
I won't be chopping up any money-lenders and their daughters, but I would like to make you see that you are not really insane if you agree with a few things that I hold dear.


But it is the stigma.  Years after the war in South East Asia was lost, I had a battle still raging in my skull.  And it rages yet today.
So if at times I seem...I dunno...a bit wacky, chalk it up to battle wounds.  The battle of fighting with my conscience over my perceptions of a ruling jewish elite, and the normalcy of disregarding the evidence of such anomalies.   For so many years that diagnosis of "crazy" has haunted me.  This is one of the tools I use to hammer out the logic of my perceived lunacy.  This site.  
For if it appears sane in these colored fonts and pictures...if it makes sense to me in print...and to others similarly doubting their own perceptions of a failing world...then it is cathartic.
I celebrate the diagnosis of lunacy if it is pronounced by those that I see as insane themselves.  And so should you.  The praise of fools is folly, but the encouragement of my readers is like a tonic.  A tonic to a recovering misdiagnosed draft-dodger turned anti-semite turned writer.
To all my readers and supporters...stay on your lunatic fringe...like staying hungry, it sharpens the senses and wins the battle.  For no one wants to take on a crazy person.  I mean after all...they are crazy.  They don't play by the rules.

37 comments:

brian morrison said...

i didn't quite get whether you went to vietnam or not? maybe you've mede it clear over the long course of your writings... but i am relatively new to your insanity.

regards,
brian

glengear said...

THERE ARE A LOT OF CERTIFIABLY NUTSOS AND WE LIKE READING YOU TIMSTER, HA-HA*HA/HA@HA#HA$HA%HA^HA&*HA(HA) SEE WHAT I MEAN
signed glen r nuts 2

Timster said...

Brian - Uh...no. Though I had my bags packed for Canada for about 3 months...through many essays and countless interviews with my draft board, I secured a CO-2 deferment. Conscientious Objector. One that could serve their hitch in stateside hospitals or USO detail. So back to the board I went...further explaining that I did not intend to help the war effort in ANY way. More essays and more interviews...finally got the coveted CO-1 deferment(which I think at the time meant "get the hell outta our hair").

Timster said...

Glenster - You are as nutty as I am...face it.

Anonymous said...

I don't suffer insanity, i enjoy every goddamn second.

Mouser said...

Call me cocky - but I could tell you have never been at war. Neither have I. It changes a man in a hard to define fashion but in a very distinct way. You would not be able to write as you do had you killed Vietnamese in war.
It would have changed you, unfortunately in a way not completely healthy.
I respect all who have been tricked into fighting in zionist bankster's wars. I would never had made it out alive. I know that.
To kill a person - even in war changes you forever I think in an indescribable way.

Peace, Mouser

Timster said...

Mouser - you're pretty cocky.
And correct. I wouldn't have made it out alive either...either by an act of war or conscience.

Timster said...

Anon@2:29 - nuff said.

veritas6464 said...

Hey Minuteman,...Crikey Mouser?!

“Neither have I. It changes a man in a hard to define fashion but in a very distinct way. You would not be able to write as you do had you killed Vietnamese in war. It would have changed you, unfortunately in a way not completely healthy.”

and then Minuteman...“And correct.”

What are you two talking about? You don’t know; I cannot believe you two guys would project such assumptions based on no personal erlebnis – two of the best commentators in the business and you come out with this turpitude!

Here are a few men that have been thrust into the crucible of combat and returned home to write:

Lev Tolstoy: The Sevastopol Sketches (arguably the first genuine War Reportage) War and Peace and so on.

Henry Williamson: A Chronicle of Ancient Sunlight, How Dear Is Life and Tarka the Otter.

Robert Graves: Goodbye to all That.

Eric Blair: A Homage to Catalonia, Down and out in Paris and London, The road to Wigan Pier, 1984...etc.

Michael Herr: Dispatches.

Bao Ninh: The Sorrow of War.

And on and on and on, the list of men and women that have experienced the horror of war that have gone on to write beautiful profound works of love, life and the human condition is endless and growing - Andre Malraux comes to mind now, La Condition Humaine.

If we are to play no role at the barricades due to our age and health, if we have nothing else to give, then let us share the archive of our hearts with those that will face the fire! Let us write the poems and pen the prose, let us be the soul and conscience of our warriors and if we are defeated – God forbid – then let us deny our enemy, we should not submit, let us stand with straight backs up against that wall when all is lost and refuse a blindfold, face the firing squad, staring down our oppressors defiant and free, let death be our final statement of liberty, unbowed and resolute:

Brothers and sisters, I am working class, as many of you are and like the honest poor the world over, we grin at the irony of it all through masks of anguished determination - a commonwealth of disappointment grasping at our souls and laughter born of empathy bonding our hearts.

This solidarity of the souls is our armour against the weapons of tyranny; stand proud, we ARE the salt of the earth.

veritas

brian morrison said...

first of all - it sure would be nice to have birth names to use rather than our stage names. any reason why we're still doing this? any of you nom de plumes want to share some thoughts?
my thoughts? rupert, sergi, larry and the rest obviously know who we are; so, the only people the plumes can be said to be 'hiding' or 'concealing themselves' from is, in the end, their own compatriots. i will freely admit that i enjoyed crafting a stage name for use on the web - but those are long gone sophomoric pleasures. we need to shake any cowardly hesitations when it comes to anonymity. again, thoughts anyone?

secondly - veritas writes of 'chuckyman' and 'mouser' that they are 'two of the best commentators in the business'. it is likely just a backhanded turn of a phrase... but i've never thought of this common pursual of hidden truths as a business. a business suggests all sorts of black-op shenanigans by anonymous people running free-agent hangout operations. may seem like a nit-pick, but in light of this piece of shit planet the powers have arranged for us - i thought i'd throw it out there.

brain

Timster said...

V - Point well taken. I don't know about Mouser, but I know my own limitations. I could not kill anyone. I have been in two situations in my life in which I could have...perhaps should have. One was even self-defense. Couldn't do it. Hell, I can't even kill a spider without going through remorse. Just a personality trait, I guess. I would be cannon-fodder.

Timster said...

Brian - I'll answer the first question and let V defend himself.
You make a good point about anonymity.
If "they" want to know who you are...the will know. Although I can be pretty stealthy, I have no illusion of my personal online security when it comes to the resources of the tribe. My nom-de-plume and geographic re-direction is more for the weirdos out here...believe me...there are plenty. I am not referring to just hasbara types...just plain scumbags. I don't care for them to have any info about me or my family. I wish it was not necessary...but there you are.

Genie said...

"I got a haircut and a job"

I wish I could see a pic before the hair cut! I love 60's photos.
You're too normal in a crazy world is your problem. You write so beautifully too!
Thank God you did'nt go to Nam but then, you would have just had more to write about...if you lived and still had your hands, and brains, that is.

Mouser said...

Veriritas,

You are right. My comments lacked enough personal experience to make them as I did. I apologise.

Sincerely, Mouser

veritas6464 said...

Hey Minuteman,...@brian morrison, or is it brain moronson? "veritas writes of 'chuckyman'": No he doesn't and bloggers that actually blog have to give up a shit-load of personal info, dodgy or not(grin). Calling yourself brain moronson is as anonymous as, well, anonymous. Register your details with the blogger yids or STFU!

Anal retention is bad enough, however, when you transliterate your tight-wad dicklessness, it embarrasses the reader.

"it is likely just a backhanded turn of a phrase..." yeah, spurious projections are like when a critic sucks as a reader.

And as for this...'two of the best commentators in the business' is exactly how it reads; an expression of latent exasperation.

This is pointless, you didn't even read it properly numb-nuts, Chuckyman isn't mentioned AT ALL!

End of response FO "brain"!

Minuteman, we are all so bogged down bandying words with semi-illiterate moronsons, I see it everywhere now, smart-arses with no nuts to create their own Blog, waxing nonsensical and pretentiously critical in the true revelationarie's Comments sections...

Sheeple with attitude, like a bucket in the ocean (yachting term).

veritas

chuckyman said...

Howdy Timster. Sanity is over rated judging by the ‘well adjusted’ I see around me daily (grin). I prefer the chat and craic of the blogs I read.

How did my name crop up Brian – did I miss a comment? A couple of points then.

I was in a war but never went. It was there all around me as I grew up. No spectacular B52 arc light strikes from high altitude but plenty of bombs and plenty of casualties – many known to me personally. A ‘low intensity’ war fought very much in the method of smoke and mirrors, cloak and dagger – much like the fight today.

Did it change me? I have no reference to how I may have turned out otherwise. I personally didn’t kill anyone but that doesn’t mean I and my country folk have clean hands. Enablers have as much culpability as the actual combatants.

Yes I have a less ‘civilian’ attitude from those days and I think that’s all for the best as I don’t follow the rabble when the propaganda press beat the drums of war. Never will me or mine fight for the bankster class.

As for being a writer I appreciate the compliment considering the company it comes from. Anyone who reads my ramblings would agree that I am not a writer – I’ll stick to my day job. I aim to be an honest (hopefully) commenter on the evolving madness.

I chose my ‘stage name’ when I started blogging. I haven’t seen the need or advantage to change that since. I do not worry overly about personal safety. The secret squirrels can find me if they wish. They are also not as powerful as they pretend to be.

I see some like Mr Morphed did as you suggest and good on them. I will carry on using Chuckyman as that is how my input is known to others. If I decide to come out (ooh er, excuse me vicar) it will be as my online presence is no longer required. I’ll be busy elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

Stop the killing! In the 60's/70's, some women wouldn't date soldiers. I am still leery of trained killers (military, police [now militarized], butchers). I can't eat animals. I capture the spiders and put them outside (haven't figured out how to capture and put out a fly). Killing diminishes us, all of us. Even these evil jew killers should be separated from the rest of us but not killed. Someone suggested an island north of the arctic circle for them. Good work Timster.
Machiventa Melchizedek

brian morrison said...

my apologies to 'chuckyman'... indeed you weren't mentioned in this post. in my dicklessness i was confused with all these stage names and happened to write the wrong one. as if it matters (grin, snort, guffaw, chortle, gag).

veritas - the comments section is where it really happens. it's everybody's bucket and no one's ocean (not a yachting term) it's a semi-illiterate world don't ya know? as for being pretentious, well, for all your five dollar words all you end up doing is calling me names. your fly's come undone... or is that your slip showing?

waxing nonsensically, spuriously and semi-illiterately,

brain moronson

veritas6464 said...

Hey Minuteman,...@Brain, we have a term in rothschalia: "Sook", as in sookie-baby, jeezarss, why don't ya get yourself a nice steamin' hot mug of 'toughen the fuck up'!?

Attention anon-e-mouses: We of the blogging never-never actually have an agenda; we are trying to thwart a tribe of evil monsters whose selfish lust for every fucking thing, knows no limits. Rather than make commenting (good or bad) a hobby, because it is safer than surfing porn, with the same titillating result for the wee-willies among you, why don't you research the content to see if you can't add to or expand upon the original articles, hmmmm?

You don't understand how much work goes into these Blogs, just because I personally am of incredibly awesome intelligence, handsome as fuck and hung like a pony, doesn't mean all the bloggers out here are so wonderously blessed, example; poor old Timster, when not tossing and turning in a restless haunted stupor, is wrapped in a relentless death-roll struggle with reality. Sadly, old mate Chuckyman writes like a man tragically under-endowed, yet the poor old sot battles the new-fangled technology of them young'ns everyday, he's to be pitied more than despised.

So, be kind people, these stoic old codgers are doing their best.

veritas

P.S. Don't thank me boys, I'd do the same thing for a stranger, just a humble Samaritan I guess. I have a paypal account, I know, I know, even though my work is priceless, gratuity is always graciously accepted.

neal said...

It gets much, much worse. Redacted memories, sanctioned kills, staring at goats, and chemicals.

A lucky break, going from Communication to Transportation, and got the hell out of that, the paperwork says due to "apathy and a defective attitude..." a small point of honor, but I had to come close to fragging myself to survive it-way too many things involving black projects being confirmed, with orbital things, and psychic killers, and all.

There is speculation, and there is being there with everything you are being ground into it, and those who have not paid that price are welcome to bring up "facts".

Just see it, war, and how much a man can bleed, and work underground for awhile. One might just begin to know things, and maybe this is not spoken of for fear, until one becomes older and cantankerous.

It's not what most can think, that would be crazy. But that's on it's way, and there will be soon no choice but to deal with it. That stuff does not have to hide anymore, nobody sees it for what it is- this is not tonic, not the kind that doesn't burn on contact.

mistmare said...

What's your favorite Dostoevsky's novel? Except Brothers Karamazov of course, it's very good but it's also overrated. Mine would be "Demons" (Or "Fiends" or however it's translated) and after that, "Letters from a Dead House".

mistmare said...

I would definitely serve at the warzone if it wasn't for my health and mental issues. Two reasons:

1. I could fight with the terrorists, who are not better than the banquers at all, because with the beanquers, they do cold, calculated acts, but these people do it for pleasure, out of revenge, and their batshit insane ideological motives.

2. If I happen to survive, I could go back to my country with valuable skills. Maybe these skills would help me protect someone.

Timster said...

Mist - That would be "Notes from the underground"

Timster said...

Chucky - As always...well said. You do yourself and injustice by saying you are no writer, however.

Timster said...

Genie - Thanks. I don't think I have any pics of me in the 60's...I moved too fast for camera shutters...

Timster said...

Machiventa - Thank you. What ever happened to the Madagascar "solution"?
I would vote for that if it came up again...

Timster said...

Neal - Impressive writing. Borne of experience. Yours?

Mouser said...

Allow collapse.

ALL private central bank debt be made null and void.

End all private central banks and usury on government issued currency universally.

Hang all Rothschild and zionist associates if they obstruct the end of this crime syndicate. They will lose every single penny or their heads - their choice.

Mouser

chuckyman said...

Cough, sputter…wipe screen and keyboard.

Cheeky bugger V. You youngsters should have more respect for your elders. I’ve still got the lead in the pencil and that’s all that counts. Any more of your lip and I’ll get the wife to sort you out (grin).

Timster said...

Mouser - Succinct and to the point.

veritas6464 said...

Hey Timster,...Most gracious Mouser, I wasn't fishing for retribution, I just lead with my chin and people can respond in kind if they wish, I have tried in my last comment to make light of our current thread as it does become something of a chore to hack away like we do so regularly, I think that humour might lend us some emotional 'time away' from the Line rather than choosing to bow out for extended rest and recovery.

Consistent with Timster's response to the suggestions you make - yes, we don't need banks or debt based economics, we don't need satanic cabals ministering our lives from the book of spells and incantations which the kabbalah is. This evil book is the basis for freemasonry, catholicism, the unitarian church (Uniting Church; the corruptors of revisionist Protestantism, whose priests and priestess's are flocking enmasse to catholicism) communism and the mother of all constructs of the satanic b'nai bri'th - judaism; all bent as two-bob watches.

Chuckyman, just joking, I find that the people I respect out here are to be found at the same venues and I have the utmost respect for you and Timster and your work.

It's all about the craic eh? I mean, how much can a Koala bear?

selange!

veritas

Timster said...

V - Well put. Thanks. But watch the "Mason" thing. I AM a Mason. I joined for the bean suppers(annual-and we have corn bread too). We have a bunch of little-boy secrets and NO girls allowed! You should join...I'll sponsor you.

veritas6464 said...

Hey Timster,...Haa, I had you slotted for a "Beaner" from the get go; the staple diet of a tyrant - corn, oil and salt eh?

If I were to pick you for a closet anything, it would be a pedantic Lutheran, haaaargh!

Oh, I won't be commenting on your current Post (as much as that breaks your heart), it made me blush; as a former incredibly talented and successful (if short-changed) journalist it became obvious to me by the pathetic efforts of my "colleagues" (I'm sorry I can't hear you over the sound of my awesomeness); that a university degree in journalism cannot hold a candle to a working class yob with the smile of a charming assassin and the cunning of a shit-house rat!

yours sincerely,

veritas esq.

mistmare said...

Timster,

Your response was a bit vague so I'm not sure if you're naming your favorite Dostoyevsky book or simply correcting my previous comment. If second, "Notes from a Dead House" is a completely independet book written before "Notes from the Underground". It's a book about Syberia to where Dostoyevsky was exiled for taking part in the Petrashev conspiracy.

Why do you shy away from discussing tactics? Do you simply not care, or do you view me as some sort of troll, counter blogger or whatever else it is? Pease answer, and no answer would surprise me.

Please keep writing, you're doing a good job.

Timster said...

Mist - Well, no. "Notes From The Underground" is entirely different from "Dead House". "Notes..." is a novel in two parts and calls out the Western jewish philosophy of the day in Russia. And it is brilliant.

I do not shy away from discussing tactics. That is what this site is...my tactic. Getting the word out. Challenging the zionist jew at every turn. Exposing every movement of the tribe that I see. Attempting to educate those that are unaware of the negative jewish influence in the world. Apart from that I don't know anyone that has a "tactic" as you call it. If the world is ok with the judaic...well there will be no solution.
I don't see you as a troll. I don't even know who you are. Your questions are welcome...but you have to expect that if they are the least bit naive...you may encounter a bit of flak from other readers here...that are a bit more up-to-speed in this battle. Thanks for reading anyway.

bholanath said...

Just found yer blog and it's fuckin great. You are a real writer, which is not my own specialty this time around, just an appreciator.
I'm an old fart (65 this week), and chose to go to Asia in the 60s on a different and dissenting track. Went to South Asia (via 1 yr in Canada) to sit at the feet of some master musicians, dancers, and storytellers. They had tons to teach and I didn't know shit. They kicked my ass, and the battles were all internal, slogging through the jungles of my own moral, spiritual, and karmic incompetence. Many deaths happened, within and all around me, and though I don't (consciously) know the experience of physical warfare, the inner war against our lower selves is no walk in the park. Fucking demons and all the rest tend to show up, embodied too.
You probably know all this shit too, since you're "crazy".
Another "misdiagnosed draft-dodger"
>respects<

Timster said...

bholanath - Welcome! Thanks for reading...you sound like my kinda person.