“Every time anyone says that Israel is our only friend in the Middle East, I can’t help but think that before Israel, we had no enemies in the Middle East.” Fr. John Sheehan, S.J.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Our records show that you purchased "The American Dream" in the specified time period of 1948 to present, in good faith from our Government Of The United States.
Therefore we are including your purchase of said product in a class-action legal proceeding against "Judaic Inc". Withstanding the contract in which "Judaic Inc". acquired the merchandising rights of said "American Dream" officially on May 14th, 1948; your birth coincides with the period in time which the litigation covers. The above litigation is due to be heard on the 15th of this month. You need not attend nor send legal representative. This is merely notification that your purchase is being considered along with over 350 million other litigants.
It is alleged that "Judaic Inc." defrauded the collective plaintiff of an amount to exceed 50 trillion dollars in the time frame limiting the prosecution; 1948-present.
If said litigation is decided for the plaintiff, you are entitled to a portion of the court award in the amount of: $772,314.31.
This will be a standard award to be divided equally among the many plaintiffs.
The court has been notified that such a decision in favor of the plaintiff in this case will bankrupt "Judaic Inc". However plaintiffs in this case are guaranteed satisfaction, whether in the form of coin-of-the-realm remuneration, or personal retribution(i.e. you get to slap the shit out of the defendants and their families and associates). Personal injury, wrongful death, and all other civil cases against the defendant will be docketed at a later date. Criminal prosecution of the principals of "Judaic Inc" . is slated to commence summarily after this class action suit is settled.
Posted by Timster at 2:00 PM