Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Trust me...I'm ODD

I have a disease. It's official. I have all the symptoms. I have worked hard all my life to be different...to buck the system...to stick it to the man. It finally paid off. I now have Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). As we speak, I am applying for my handicapped license plate due me for my new disability. I am no longer responsible for my actions...entirely. I could fly off the handle at any given moment. I have nothing but disdain for authority, I am disruptive and refuse to adhere to social norms. I'm a sick man. Of course this is all currently only a preliminary self-diagnoses, but I intend to seek professional health-care confirmation soon. But due to my illness, I will most likely disagree with whatever they say.

Just this morning, I read this and went berserk:

"The Department of Homeland Security released $19 million to secure non-profits, the vast majority Jewish.
Of 271 institutions named in a list released this week by DHS, 254 are Jewish, including synagogues, schools, community centers and offices.
The funds were released as part of a congressionally mandated program in place since 2005 that targets institutions that are vulnerable to attack.
Security measures funded include “blast proof windows; reinforced doors, locks, gates, and fences; video surveillance; and other equipment and enhancements” as well as training, according to a release by the Jewish Federations of North America, the federations umbrella body that lobbies annually for the funding.
“The Nonprofit Security Grant Program is a proven resource that helps supplement the work of local and federal law enforcement to help keep us safe,” William Daroff, JFNA’s Washington director, said in a statement.
Other groups lobbying for the money include two Orthodox umbrella bodies, the Orthodox Union and Agudath Israel of America.
O.U. called the funds “an important tool to help prevent terrorist attacks and protect civilians in case of such attack” and Aguda said “threats and actual incidents of violence against Jewish targets in the United States and around the world point to the particular vulnerability of our community.”
Sen. Barbara Mikuski (D-Md.), who has shepherded the funding through congressional appropriations, said she remained committed to sustaining the program.
“I have fought for these funds in the past, and I will keep fighting to protect institutions that are vital to our communities and the physical, social, spiritual and educational well-being of all Americans,” she said."

You see? A harmless little article. And yet something in me sees this as morally wrong, biased and jew-based graft. I need help. Nothing helps. I see conspiracy in the most innocent of things.
I read somewhere recently that "trust" in the world is at an all time low. They even plot this human emotion statistically.

I don't trust statistics...unless they align with my view of things. That is part of my sickness. Anyway, they say that virtually no one trusts anything anymore. And at the bottom of the "trustworthy" chart is blogs. Well that makes sense to me. This is all bullshit out here. No one can be trusted. Not like in the old days. Well, I mean the REALLY old days. Back when you got your news from a wandering minstrel that sang it to you. But how did they know he didn't just make that crap up, to rhyme and have meter? There were probably even ODD people back then.

I remember as a young teen, my cousin said she had this neat game to play and did I want to try it? Sure. Ok, the idea was(and maybe you have done this), you stand 5-6ft from someone and turn your back to them. Then you stiffen your body and fall straight backward and "trust" that person to catch you. I think it was originally supposed to be some kind of test of your ability to trust a fellow human, or some shit. When I woke up, I was trying to listen to the doctor say something to me, but it was difficult while I was flying around the room like that. Up. Down. Swooping over by the top of the window. All the while his narrow little voice kept saying something about "occipital concussion" and stitches and brains sloshing or something. Anyway, she, my cousin, taught me a valuable lesson about trust. Don't do it. Ever. It will hurt you someday. But, you can't trust what I say. I'm ODD.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

There is a cure. Its called castration. The joos have been practicing for five thousand years for this. They are going to be sorely dissappointed .Eunics can be mean when they decide to turn on their masters.

Timster said...

Anon@1:05 - Not my wee-wee!

skinylegsandall said...

I'm odd too.ODD ODD ODD.They,jews,can kiss my ass too.Cut my head off like John the Baptist.Murder a 144,000 babies in around Bethlehem 3 days after the birth of Jesus Christ.Murder Jesus Christ after he hollered the last generation will be worse than first.He knew,I learned too late now.

Strawman said...

Yes, soon.

the memory hole said...

CCCP (soviet union) used diagnoses by psychology professionals to blacklist people in there golden socialist utopia. Too bad we in the West are the new U.S.S.A. Note to all psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, people paid too much to sit and be my buddy for an hour, can you go to a chalkboard and draw up a psychology equation?

Timster said...

Skinnylegs - Shhh... it's rude to notice these things

Timster said...

Strawman - But I've had that for years!

Timster said...

Memory - And when your done with that, draw me a diagram of a working gas-chamber?

Anonymous said...

I believe many of these nonprofit organizations are used by the Mossad for money laundering. During the Madoff scandal, many nonprofits depending on the Madoff swindels, closed their doors overnight. I just wonder why.

Timster said...

Anon - So do I...